£350,000,000 worth of Zumba Maths.

The £350m etc explained through the medium of Zumba, written during the week running up to the Referendum.

This is all an analogy – it’s not really my mum, the fee is not £35 etc etc.  It’s just a way of explaining something that seems to be confusing people.

I pay a monthly license fee to teach Zumba.  Let’s say, for the sake of clarity, that this is £35.

However, a few years back, my Mum went to see the Zumba head office and asked if I could just pay £25, instead.  They said yes, which was jolly nice of them, because there wasn't really a reason why I should, but I said I wouldn't play, otherwise.

I get a CD every month, with Zumba music on, for which the Zumba people have paid the Performing Rights – so I can use that music for free.  Every other month, I also get a DVD of choreography.  I don’t have to use these, but it probably works out at a value, for a CD and half a DVD every month, of – let’s call it £18. 

So I’m paying a £35 license fee (which is actually £25) but I’m getting an £18 value back.

There are other inherent outgoings, such as hall hire, insurance, footwear, exercise gear, physiotherapy etc etc.  When I add the costs up, they’re a lot.

However, I get the right to enter the Zumba market and teach my classes.  This earns me a considerable amount more than I pay in, even after the outgoings.  I know how much I earn from Zumba, and I reckon it’s a bloody good deal.  What I can’t put a figure on is all the other things I’ve gained.  Through meeting people I wouldn’t have met otherwise, my other businesses have also flourished, I have extremely good friends I’d never have met otherwise, I have learned styles of dance I didn’t know before and listen to music I would never have come across, and my life has been enriched beyond measure by all of these things.  But they are unquantifiable, and I don't want to muddy the water - I'm going to assume you understand that.

I could set up my own system of dance classes, where I don’t have to pay the license fee.  I would have to pay out for market research and marketing to make sure that I chose something that was going to work, and got it out there in front of people, making them want it more than something they already know about and know to be effective.  I would have to do a lot of research in terms of safety etc to ensure that I wasn’t teaching anything dangerous- BUT!  I would save myself that £35 (or rather £25) but I wouldn’t get that £18 CD and DVD.  I’d still be saving myself £7 a month, though.

I’m not sure I could do all that research and marketing for £7, but maybe I should give it a go.  And hope that people come along.

The daughters will squeal with delight and suggest we use the £35 (£25) to join a gym.  I will laugh and explain that it is not enough to join the gym, plus I haven’t earnt that £35 because I haven’t been teaching Zumba to earn it, and besides, I’d rather spend it on shoes.

Meanwhile, Zumba would still be going on, with other instructors, and people would be entitled to choose to go to them, of course.

As to that pesky old share of the Basingstoke Zumba market (AKA World Trade):

Five years ago, when I started teaching, 100 people a night attended a Zumba class in Basingstoke.  20 of them came to my class.  I had a 20% share of the market.

Now, 200 people a night come to Zumba.  30 of them come to my class.  I only have a 15% share of the total market.

And yet I have grown my business by 50%.

Get it?  Got it?  Good.